U.S.-China Relations (as pertaining to me, natch)

My fellow Americans, if you wish to discuss your political opinions in public—and more to the point, within my earshot—please try and have the tiniest sliver of a clue with regards to what you are speaking of. Otherwise, I may be forced to march over to your table and brain you with a potsticker.

As you may have gathered, we lunched today at the local Chinese buffet in honor of the Games of the XXIX Olympiad of the Modern Era. Or maybe Chinese food just sounded good and I've watched too much Olympic coverage. Oh, and btw, NBC—release your stranglehold. Yeshua. It's ridiculous that the local news cannot even show footage of hometown athletes because NBC hasn't aired their precious coverage yet. I'm thinking the audience for fencing is rather limited in scope to begin with, so ease up a bit, ya Nazis. Ok, deep breath. This too shall pass. Anyway, while lunching, I made the crucial mistake of sitting on an eyeline with the kitchen so that every time one of the proprietors came out with something fresh, they'd hold it up to me and mime encouragement for me to come and get some more. I don't do well with this kind of pressure. With the result that I walked waddled out of there feeling like I'd swallowed a giant gelatinous beach ball. Then we went grocery shopping. Brilliant. We are all constantly warned about shopping on an empty stomach, but let me tell you, shopping with a stomach so full you're on the verge of purging at any moment is not a pleasant experience either. Especially driving home with the smell of roasted chicken wafting around the car. *urp*

Oh, oh, oh!! I almost forgot. The best part was my fortune cookie: "Your respect for others will be your ticket to success this year." BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA. My respect for others? Hoo-hee-hee. That's a good one. Respect for others! Oh God, my sides. Stop it, stop it!

On a completely oxymoronic note from the lunch gorging, I passed the halfway mark for weight loss today and officially moved from "obese" to "overweight" on the BMI scale. This filled me with a ridiculous amount of delight and joy even though I think BMI is a bunch of codswallop. And a final word to all my ex-fat: you can suck it.