Ages ago, for obvious reasons, I blocked a blowhard know-it-all on Facebook. Since then, through a series of unfortunate events, he has been hired in my office. Now I am forced to listen in person to all the same erroneous information he used to spew online. His voice carries. He will never admit when he is mistaken and just continues to compound his original errors and sometimes just introduces new and also completely untrue facts into the conversation. (His wife, however, is delightful. How does that happen?)
Last week, he announced, "Oregon isn't really big on Indian place names." Really? You are sitting in a town and a county with an Indian place name. I don't have to go ten miles to come up with a dozen more. Where shall we start? Multmomah, Willamette, Clackamas, Scappoose, Clatskanie, Clatsop, Ecola, Nehalem, Kilchis, Neah-kah-nie, Netarts, Nestucca, Klamath. Shall I go on? Enh, check a map. I'm tired of this game.
Today's pronouncement: "I don't think there's a million dollars in this county." You, sir, are an idiot. Yes, there are a lot of blue-collar, working-class families in this rural county. There are also 75 miles of coastline. And a handful of large company headquarters.
So, yes, blowhard. It is well past time for you to fact-check your mouth. I need you to shut up. Like, yesterday.
Ok, so I have the attention span of a drunken gnat.
