Ok, so I have the attention span of a drunken gnat.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Things Learned and Not Learned
Things I Have Learned
That you should not eat applesauce with a fork. It'll work but you just might burst something vital in the frustration of attempting it. (This I just learned today.)
That you should not set a full bottle of Coca-Cola on the edge of a tub you are currently bathing in. Unless, of course, you like the sticky.
That you really should be careful what you wish for. Case in point, first I wished to get a part in the play, then I wished I didn't have to rehearse for 20 hours on the weekend in said play. I got both of those mutually exclusive wishes. You do the math.
Why the sky is blue. It's not actually; it all has to do with light and refractions and the way our eyes see light waves. Or something like that.
How to accept a compliment gracefully. Simply smile and say, "Thank you." Although this can backfire, can't it, Jason?
That I don't actually hate to cook. I actually hate the prep. The cooking part doesn't bother me at all.
How to make the best pecan pie you'll ever hope to eat in your life. (I do like to bake. No, it's not the same as cooking. Ask a chef.)
That for every cliché, there is an equal and opposite cliché. For example, does absence make the heart grow fonder or is out of sight really out of mind?
That if you act confident, you will feel confident, and people will believe that you are confident. And people like confidence. And I like to be liked.
Things I Have Not Learned
Why I have this insatiable need to be liked. And why some people are fully and completely exempted from this need. (See preceding post regarding Pilates poseurs. Ms. Newbie has never returned, btw, guess hubby's gonna have to see those flabby abs, after all.)
To keep my big mouth shut. See entire life history.
Why a singular year is plural in the following construction: "1987 called. They want their mullet back."
Why Yellow Freight Lines trucks are orange. This drives me in-freaking-sane. Seriously, are they trying to give me an aneurysm?
Why I continue to read Family Circus even though I know I don't find it even remotely amusing.
On a related note, why I am so enthralled by the adventures of Prince Valiant.
Why Jason likes to infuriate himself by watching/reading/lurking political extremists with a polar opposite viewpoint from his own.
How to finish a project. So far, I've begun but never finished knitting; mosaic making; sewing; learning Latin, Spanish, French, Danish, and Dutch; and the mini-remodel of this house.
How to wrap this post up with some witty remark or hilarious observation. Sorry kids, I got nothin'.
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3 comments:
We should cook together sometime. I like the prep but get flustered by trying to time the cooking. I ain't cleaning up though.
I don't believe all that light wave shit. The sky is just plain f'ing blue. Stop trying to complicate things, Science People!
And on the 1987 thing, I would continue the singular usage if I were writing that. 1987 called and it wants its mullet back. Yeah. Except I'd say, "Barry Melrose called. He wants his mullet back." but only hockey fans would understand.
It wasn't a compliment, it was an observation....doofus.
When I say:
"hey the scars from your surgery are healing nicely".
The proper response is not "Thank you". The proper response would more likely be:
"Yeah, they really are aren't they".
I didn't phrase it to say "Hey, great job on getting your scars to heal well...you go girl!"
(Although to be fair, following up the "Thank you" with "It wasn't meant as a compliment" wasn't the best way to phrase what I meant).
Love you honey.. :)
As for the political thing? no-freaking-idea from this end either. Maybe I need my blood pressure to be at a certain elevated level and that's the only way to achieve it....who knows.
Oh, yeah. That timing thing. I have problems with that too. I forgot. That's gonna be one hell of a messy kitchen.
Jason, darling, I still maintain that it sounded like a compliment. And hey man, give those ellipses a break sometime. I'm not even going to start with punctuation and capitalization. You are trying to give me an aneurysm, aren't you?
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